Anonymous
Oct 5, 2013 22:32:04 GMT -6
Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2013 22:32:04 GMT -6
"No, it's not that I don't want to —" Hyuk-jae stopped talking abruptly when Nagisa grabbed his hands.
Flinching as the shorter young man stamped his foot, Hyuk-jae remained silent. Nagisa was clearly angry with him for changing his mind so quickly. Hyuk-jae couldn't say he blamed him, either. He must seem so unbalanced! His new acquaintance was demanding an answer, and he had no idea what he should say. Coming clean about his condition wasn't on the top of his list. That conversation was always uncomfortable and stilted, with him trying to explain what 'epilepsy' meant while people stared at him with deep, pity-filled eyes. He hated it, every time. It never got better.
"Tell me what changed. I won't force you into something you want to do, but I think I deserve at least knowing why you suddenly changed your mind after agreeing."
The taller young man let his hands fall to his sides. "It's the paperwork," he said, finally, looking away from Nagisa's eyes. "I — guess I hadn't thought I'd have to do any. I agreed because I thought it would be under the table. No papers, no formality." He balled his fingers into fists again. He shouldn't lie to Nagisa about why. "She won't hire me," he tried to explain, "if I do the paperwork, your Madam will call my boss at the paper, and they'll talk about me?" Nagisa's staring was unnerving. "And she'll tell me I'm not suited for the job." Hyuk-jae felt horrible, and he grit his teeth. Best to get it out now, rip it off like a bandage. Then this horrifying morning could be over when Nagisa threw him out.
"I — I have epilepsy, okay? And a lot of the time, it's fine. I have small fits, where I just ... space out or drop stuff. You saw." Surely the other young man wouldn't pretend he hadn't noticed. Their customers had noticed. He glanced at Nagisa's face. "Sometimes I have larger ones, where some of my muscles jerk. I might break a dish here and there. But sometimes — sometimes it's really bad." He crossed his own arms in reflexive self-defense. Clearing his throat, Hyuk-jae braced himself. "I have big seizures, ones where I can't control anything. I stop breathing sometimes. And... and I'm a Firebender. I'm a huge safety risk."
There went this budding friendship.
"That's why I can't get a regular job. Or drink alcohol, or eat toast." Running his thumb along one slim wrist, he shifted his weight between feet. "And no one in their right mind would hire me as a host if they knew... and I can't bring myself to lie." He looked away and rubbed at his forehead. "It's not that I don't want to. It has nothing to do with you. I'd love to be your partner. It's just..."
Circumstances.
Oct 6, 2013 2:56:50 GMT -6
Post by A Long Display Name Here on Oct 6, 2013 2:56:50 GMT -6
Nagisa listened to Hyuk-jae's explanation with his arms still crossed, but the look of anger slowly dissipated. Ah, a health problem. Well, he didn't wholly understand what that meant, but if it prohibited him from holding jobs in the past then his hesitation was understandable.
He shook his head. "Still," he said, in this moment very much a child with a child's sense of fairness, "you should've told me. We're friends, right?"
He stepped to the side to let Hyuk-jae pass. "I won't force you to stay, like I said," he murmured, looking straight at Hyuk-jae's face. "But I really don't think that will be an issue. So you're a safety risk. So is every bender that is a host, you can't tell if someone's going to suddenly snap or something. Or every nonbender for that matter. For all we know someone could be an Equalist. It sounds like there are ways to maybe try and ... I don't know the word, stave off your episodes, yeah? And you know what happens when they're about to begin so you can tell us what to look for."
"I'm sure Madame will be understanding. Just don't let her talk you into selling your condition as a pity point. She's not insensitive, exactly, but she is running a business. She can't bill you as something without your consent though."
Nagisa jammed his hands into his trouser pocket, tracing a pattern on the floor with his still-slippered foot. "I think you'll be fine. But if you want to, then... well, go, I guess."
He looked down at his foot. "I want you to stay though."
Anonymous
Oct 6, 2013 3:55:56 GMT -6
Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 3:55:56 GMT -6
Hyuk-jae stared at Nagisa, not really comprehending for a moment what was happening. "You don't understand," he said, voice soft. "You are... very sweet, but you don't understand." Forcing himself to look Nagisa in the face, Hyuk-jae tried to explain. "I can't stave off the episodes. I don't know when it's going to happen. I have no idea the absence seizures happen to me at all unless someone points it out. When we were sitting in the club and I kept 'spacing out'? I had no idea until someone said something to me. I can't tell." Well, sometimes he could — but the point was that he couldn't always, and he definitely couldn't always tell when large seizures were coming.
"It's not the same as someone going on a rampage, Nagisa. This is my life. I wasn't allowed in a public school like this, do you understand?" He sighed. "I've set my apartment on fire before, on accident. More than once. And when I have one of the larger ones, sometimes I sleep for days. I miss work." He'd lost jobs, been kicked out of apartments, lost 'friends'...
I want you to stay, though.
Hyuk-jae bit his lower lip. Something about Nagisa... it just got to him. Well, there was nothing for it. He'd have to go talk to the Madam and take Nagisa with him. When she turned him out, it would prove his point. But then, at least, Nagisa wouldn't blame him for it.
Maybe.
Sighing, Hyuk-jae gestured at the door. "Let's go talk to her," he said. "Right now. Before shopping."
Anonymous
Oct 6, 2013 19:53:11 GMT -6
Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 19:53:11 GMT -6
Hyuk-jae was silent all the way to the Club. His palms were sweaty; he kept scrubbing them off on his trousers, crossing and uncrossing his legs. He hadn't been in many cabs and it made him nervous, eyes constantly watching the buildings they passed. As they reached the Club he glanced at Nagisa.
They stood on the steps and when Madame Jainukul opened the door, Hyuk-jae just stared at her. He followed her and Nagisa into an office, heeding her directions to sit with a rod-straight spine.
Sitting gingerly in the chair, Hyuk-jae stared at Madame Jainukul again. As she peered at him over his glasses, he swallowed. Best to get it over with, right? As Nagisa stated that he 'had concerns', Hyuk-jae opened his mouth to protest.
"It's not that I have concerns about being employed here, ma'am," he said quickly, "because I would love to. Nagisa mentioned paperwork, though."
"Ah." Jainukul raised a brow. "You can't read?"
Flushing, Hyuk-jae smiled a little. "No, I can read. It's more that I believe in full disclosure and feel that I am… not, well, not what you're looking for."
He wasn't being clear. Already it was going poorly. Sighing, he tried again. "Ma'am, I'll just be honest with you. I have epilepsy, which means I have fits. Seizures." He twisted his fingers in his lap. "I can't control them and I'm also a Firebender. I can give you references and the name of my current employer, but I haven't been able to hold a steady job. I also don't have character references from a landlord." She could call his parents, but Hyuk-jae doubted they'd say anything complimentary.
Focusing on the worn toes of his boots, he waited for the inevitable — and steadfastly avoided looking at Nagisa.
Oct 6, 2013 22:50:18 GMT -6
Post by A Long Display Name Here on Oct 6, 2013 22:50:18 GMT -6
Jainukul's severe features softened, and, Nagisa saw with surprise, gave Hyuk-jae an almost loving look. In the past year never had she seen the Madame look with any of her employees, potential employees, or clients with such a genuinely kind face.
Adjusting her glasses, Jainukul relaxed in her seat and looked only at Hyuk-jae.
"I know what epilepsy is," she said gently, surprising Nagisa. "My cousin has it, but he's not a bender. It was very hard for my aunt and uncle to deal with when we were children; a lot of people thought he was possessed by an evil spirit, others wanted to ... to stop him from having children. It was impossible for him to hold down a job, so he lived with his parents for a very long time."
She smiled a little. "And now he lives with me," she added. "So I understand your situation, and why you are concerned about being a liability." Jainukul looked at Nagisa, the stern expression somewhat back. "And it's a perfectly valid concern, Nagisa," she admonished. "He's not being unfairly hesitant."
Nagisa blushed. Jainukul knew him well.
"It is possible that your seizures might become a liability, I won't lie to you. If one of our clients were hurt, or if we were unable to stop fire from spreading during a fit... I'm sure I don't need to tell you how disastrous that would be for the lives involved, and for the business."
She leaned forward and looked at Hyuk-jae. "But. That doesn't mean I'm not willing to try it out. You watch what you eat, I'm sure. I'll keep an eye out for any particular behaviours — do you have any auras, any behaviour you often exhibit beforehand, anything that can help us help you? If we have some things to look out for we can always excuse you from any hosting by saying you have an unexpected private engagement — which will have the business bonus of making it seem like you're popular and high in demand. Also we can always stock more food that you can eat. And--" She looked meaningfully at Nagisa.
"And I can help!" he said happily. "Yeah, yeah, if I know what I need to look for or pay attention to, or the right questions to ask, I can help you too. We'd be partners after all. And friends." He grinned hugely.
Jainukul nodded. "Of course, I do still have to think about our clients and the club. What do you think of maybe some under the table business for a trial period, and see how that works out?"
Anonymous
Oct 6, 2013 23:08:03 GMT -6
Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2013 23:08:03 GMT -6
She… knew what epilepsy was? As Jainukul went on to say that she had a family member with the condition, Hyuk-jae's eyes widened. He'd never met anyone who had experience with epilepsy before. It sounded like her cousin had experienced many of the things he had — accusations of possession, misguided attempts to surgically sterilize, an inability to hold down a job. The young man took a swift, deep breath, audible in the office. He was just so shocked.
As she admonished Nagisa about not believing it was a serious concern, Hyuk-jae couldn't help but smile. She agreed with his concerns about hurting others or becoming a huge liability. Of course she did — she was a businesswoman. But as she asked about his seizures and offered under-the-table work, it was all Hyuk-jae could do to find his voice.
Clearing his throat, the first thing he did was apologize for the stretch of silence. "Sorry, I — I'm just shocked, is all. I haven't met anyone who knew what it was before." Sitting on his hands, Hyuk-jae chewed his lower lip in thought. "Before the grand mal seizures," he glanced at Nagisa, "the full-body ones, I can usually smell something burning. And a lot of the time I get paranoid, trying to leave wherever I am. When that happens it's usually best if I leave and find a place where I won't hurt myself before it happens. If I can." He went on to explain a total lack of warning signs for the absence seizures, and figured he had many more of them than he realized on any given day.
"Most of the time with absence seizures I just stare into space, I think. My mother used to say my eyes twitched but I think it's very small if they do." No one had mentioned it in a long time. "Sometimes I drop stuff I'm holding. That's about it. I almost never have the jerking seizures without a full-body one." So they mostly didn't have to worry about him accidentally throwing something across a room, or jerking and knocking glasses off a table.
As for a trial period… "I think that would be best," he admitted. "I don't want to hurt anyone or cause you any problems." Especially not now, knowing what he knew. He smiled softly at Nagisa. "Let's do it." Looking back at Jainukul, Hyuk-jae extended a hand. "I can't tell you what this means to me, ma'am," he said. "I tried to get Amon to take my bending away, but... well, everything happened so fast, and then it turned out to be a false hope."
Guess that meant their shopping date was on, after all.
Oct 8, 2013 0:31:31 GMT -6
Post by A Long Display Name Here on Oct 8, 2013 0:31:31 GMT -6
The look Jainukul gave Hyuk-jae after he confessed he tried to get Amon to take his bending away nearly broke Nagisa's heart. It looked angry, sympathetic, and loving all at once.
But all the same, Jainukul kept silent, merely extending her hand and giving Hyuk-jae's a firm shake. "Sounds good," she said brusquely, though Nagisa would've sworn he could hear a catch in her voice. "I'll be scheduling you and Nagisa to work together. I presume he told you about my proposition?" She looked at Nagisa, who nodded.
"Very well." She settled back into her chair and opened her folder, scribbling something down. Nagisa casually peeped, and saw it was a list of Hyuk-jae's symptoms and warning signs.
"The club opens at seven, so getting here any time before that works. I advise you arrive at least fifteen minutes early for each night just in case any last-minute clients demand a themed night; that said, theme nights usually occur on schedule. We have a once-a-month staff meeting where we plan out events, and you're expected to attend."
She looked away, and Nagisa took his cue. Hooking his arm through Hyuk-jae's, he ushered the young man out of the office and down the hall. "Now let's go shopping, okay? We've got work tomorrow night."
