He was exhausted. It had been going on for a while now, but Jin Ho hadn't really realized it — he'd been working a lot, spending a lot of time at his boyfriend's house, trying to keep up with things… he'd completely fallen off the face of the Earth. He hadn't been by for family dinner for months, hadn't spent time with Hoshi… he'd just been enjoying finally having a boyfriend, and hadn't realized that it was actually not a very good relationship.

His training would probably call it emotionally abusive.

The soft knock at the door would be Hoshi. Sighing a little, the now off-duty policeman straightened his grey sweater and pulled the door open. He looked a little worse for the wear, haggard around the eyes and hair a bit out of place. Usually Jin Ho was very well-groomed.

"You're not late at all," Jin Ho said warmly, pulling the door wider. "Please — come in! What's with the basket?" He hadn't meant for her to go to any trouble. Ushering his oldest friend into his apartment, the young man took the basket to the kitchen. "Sundubu jjigae?" He raised an eyebrow as he looked into the basket. "You think I need feeding?" Putting the kettle on, he went back to the living room, gesturing for Hoshi to sit.

"Sorry," Jin Ho said. "It's been a while. How are you?"

Jin Ho noted his friend looking at his apartment, and blushed a little. "I know the place is a wreck," he said gently. "I sort of… got really busy. I was working extra, you know, with.. everything that was going on. And I didn't spend a lot of time here." Obviously he was implying that he'd been staying at his boyfriend's constantly, but it was too embarrassing to say.

He nodded as Hoshi said she'd picked up more time at work. "I'm glad to hear you've hired help," the young man said. "I think you could certainly use it. Every time I've come by, the cafe has been very busy." As she asked how he'd been sleeping, Jin Ho shrugged one shoulder. "I've been sleeping as much as I can." He knew she was asking about the nightmares more than anything, but they were a constant in his life. They were neither better nor worse. Was it worth mentioning?

Standing, the young man went back to the kitchen and prepared them both cups of tea. "I broke up with him," he said, as casually as possible, "I know you're wondering." He knew Hoshi hadn't really approved of his relationship. Of course, now that he had broken up with him, Jin Ho couldn't say he blamed her. One of his co-workers had gently asked him about things, and after a meeting with a counselor for the police force, Jin Ho felt like he finally had his head on straight.

Well, at least a little closer to straight. It was a start. Bringing tea in to Hoshi, he sat down carefully. "I missed you too," he said. "I'm sorry I haven't seen much of you lately."

"Don't be." Jin Ho leaned back in his seat, sighing. "Officer Chang approached me about it. He… wasn't good for me. I guess it was obvious. I talked to the Force's counselor and… it helped. I guess I needed a really outside perspective." It was embarrassing to admit that he'd even been caught up in such a situation, truthfully. All the red flags were there. He should've known better.

As she asked if he worked, he shook his head. "I've actually been given a week's leave. Counselor's suggestion." It was amazing it had been approved, but he next to never took time off. No one could begrudge him one week of vacation, and he did need the rest. He really needed a trip to a hot springs and an entire bottle of… something. Maybe the wine in the kitchen? For once in his life, Jin Ho felt like getting very, very drunk.

Of course, Hoshi would probably not approve. "Go ahead," he said. "It's been too long since I had your cooking. I'd love it if you'd stay." He got up, going to the kitchen and, without a word, opening the wine. Glancing up at her, he smiled. "And don't say anything. I still don't drink that much. I just thought I might want it today." And he was right.

Passing her a glass, Jin Ho sat down at his kitchen table, letting out a sigh. "I haven't been home for dinner in a while," he admitted. "It's really nice to have you here." He watched her cut the vegetables, appreciating the domesticity of it. Somehow when Hoshi was around, everything was just… better.

"I know, you think I probably need therapy, right?" Jin Ho rubbed his temples. "I probably do. I don't know. I… I have no idea how it happened. I mean, I have training. I know the signs." He wrapped his fingers around his thick braid of glossy hair, toying with it a bit anxiously. "I should've seen it coming, I guess. I can't believe how… stupid I was, how blind."

Policemen were trained in abuse. They were supposed to be able to recognize emotional and physical abuse when they saw it. He'd been through countless classes about relationships, but it was always about women, and how men treated women. He'd never in his wildest dreams imagined another police officer, another male police officer, would turn out to be such a manipulative and controlling boyfriend. He hadn't seen his family in months! Work was an easy excuse, but it had slowly become not really about work but about pleasing his boyfriend. It wasn't right.

He'd become obviously tired, and when his co-worker had gently approached him, at first it was all about how he was sleeping. Everything had ended up just… pouring out, an embarrassing confession. When Hoshi touched his wrist, Jin Ho smiled at her. "It's okay. I'm all right. I mean — it's over, and it's not like anything terrible happened. I just feel stupid."

So, so, so stupid.

But it was over. Over and done with. He patted Hoshi's hand. "I'd rather talk about you," he said. "I missed you. I'm so glad you're here." Jin Ho smiled a warmer, happier smile and shoved his hair away from his hands. Hopefully he could convince her to stay all night. He always slept better when Hoshi was there, curled up in his bed just like when they were kids. She was perfect and warm and soft and comforting, no matter what happened. She was always there for him.

Maybe that was what love was actually like.

Sighing, Jin Ho shrugged. "I don't know," he said to Hoshi. "We're taught to recognize it. And I wasn't — I wasn't in love with him. There's no way." It was the sex. He'd been infatuated with the man and deliriously happy about finally experiencing something he'd gone so long only imagining. "It was just… nice to be wanted, you know? And I didn't want to lose that feeling." He looked away from his oldest friend, rubbing the back of his neck. "That sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

He was relieved when she allowed him to change the subject. "Green tea with melon?" Jin Ho made a face. "You know I prefer lychee." Jin Ho hated melon, and was surprised Hoshi had asked. "But, you know — lots of people like melon stuff. I'm sure it would prove popular." He just… loved lychee! Especially in the summer.

"Hoshi?" Jin Ho watched her check the stove. "Do you… think you could stay the night?" He set down his now-empty wine glass. "I'm not sure I can sleep. And I know, you're not a blanket. It's just — please?"

Accepting his bowl of jjigae, Jin Ho eagerly pushed his egg around. It looked hot and spicy, just the way he liked it.

Jin Ho tasted his soup and closed his eyes, it tasted so good. It was, in fact, perfect. "God. This is so good." He was quiet for a while, eating the soup and enjoying the feeling of Hoshi sitting next to him. When he patted his hand and asked what he'd like to do, Jin Ho shrugged.

"I thought we might listen to a radio play," he said. "And maybe… you can brush my hair?" He glanced at her, green eyes brimming with hope. Jin Ho loved having his hair played with, and he'd been enjoying a romantic radio play over the past few months. Well, he had enjoyed it secretly because it wasn't a very manly thing to admit to — but the story was just perfect. A woman, a soldier, a world-wide war… he was hooked on it. "Have you been listening to While We're Far Apart?" Surely she had been. He and Hoshi had always enjoyed romances together.

Finishing his soup quickly, Jin Ho stood to refill his wine glass and put his bowl in the sink. The two of them retired to the living room, where Jin Ho switched on the radio and got out a spare blanket for Hoshi. He wrapped up in an old sage green throw himself, waiting for the show to come on. "It's so good," he said. "Zheng never was interest so I had to listen all by myself." He tucked his feet up under him.

As Hoshi said it was a shame his now ex- boyfriend hadn't enjoyed the radio drama, Jin Ho nodded. "I know!" He waved a hand. "But, you know — it's not very manly, I guess. It's a complete romance." He just had a thing for romances. Hoshi un-picked his braid, fingers snagging on a few tangles. At first he winced with the brushing; his hair needed some care. "It needs oil, right?" he asked. "Let me grab it before the show comes on." He got up quickly, slipping into the bedroom to grab the bottle. It smelled like sandalwood and Jin Ho was surprised to realize he didn't know when the last time he'd oiled his hair was.

That said enough about the relationship all on its own. Returning to Hoshi, he sat back down and wrapped up in the blanket as a commercial played. His oldest friend asked about his favorite character, confessing hers to be the solider. What a shock!

"Oh, really?" He was surprised. Jin Ho popped his eyes open. "I like Amaterasu best. I'm surprised you don't! She's a strong, opinionated lady who's doing her best in a time of serious trouble — just like you." He laughed. "The way she's planted the garden and gone to work in a factory? She's definitely resourceful." Stretching, Jin Ho shifted to lean his head in Hoshi's lap. "Do you think the soldier is really dead?"

It was so nice, spending time with her like this. It had been far too long. They had a few minutes before the show aired.

Jin Ho closed his eyes as Hoshi combed his hair. The smell of the oil was comforting and he couldn't lie — it felt amazing. His hair was thick and heavy and in desperate need of a little love. What could be better than listening to a radio romance with his best friend?

"I think he's alive, for sure!" he said. "I can't imagine they'd let him die. This is supposed to be a romance." Though, to be fair, the show had already had its bit of tragedy. One of the main character's friends had already been killed in a bombing! "I'm sure they'll have him come home." She was right on the money about feminine intuition — Jin Ho knew that from experience. "I hope she mounts a huge campaign."

The show came on, first with dramatic music and opening credits. Cabbage Corps was a sponsor of the drama, the radio wanted them to know, and their contribution was greatly appreciated! The policeman opened his eyes, excited. As the show came on, he snuggled into his blanket. The protagonist started by expounding on her situation — how much time had passed, her refusal to accept the news, her need to write letters. Jin Ho gripped the blanket as she spoke about her days at the factory, lifeless with the knowledge.

He couldn't imagine losing someone he truly loved. How awful it would be! Jin Ho hadn't really experienced death other than his dog, Sweeper. That alone was hard enough. How much worse would it be to lose one's fiancé?

Not that he'd ever had a fiancé. Chewing his lower lip, Jin Ho leaned back against Hoshi as the show hit a commercial break. "It's getting heavy, huh?" he said. "Hard to think about how painful it must be. I bet it hits home for a lot of older listeners. Don't you?"

Jin Ho sighed. "I hope we don't end up in a huge, world-wide war ourselves," he mused. Surely this anti-bender sentiment wouldn't go that far. Even so, he actually wasn't sure of how evenly the population was split. Who was the majority?

And should the majority even rule, anyway? He rubbed his temples. It was just a lot to think about, and he'd been thinking about it a lot recently.

"Hair dye? How is that different from henna? Not that I would change my hair colour, or anything. "It's just strange that this would be a marketable product when there is already henna."

"I don't know!" Jin Ho thought henna was hair dye. It was a dye you could use on hair. Wasn't that what a person would call it? He shrugged, his own hair slipping through Hoshi's fingers. Jin Ho's hair was dark, inky black, thick as a man's wrist when braided. He had never considered changing its color. "I don't personally have much interest in that stuff," he admitted. He wasn't very vain, only a little.

Sighing with happiness when Hoshi massaged his head, Jin Ho paid close attention to the radio. The show was nearly over and it sounded like it would be leaving them on a suspenseful note. Gosh, they'd have to wait a whole week for more! He gasped at the appropriate moment and then groaned when the ending theme music began to play. "Can you believe it?" he said, reaching behind him to pull his hair over his shoulder and begin working it into a plain braid. "I always wish it would go on! They sure end it on cliff-hangers." He smiled at Hoshi. His hair felt silky again, untangled and smooth.

"Thanks," he said, tying the end of the braid off. "I don't know how I managed without you. I'm so sorry I haven't seen you in a while." Stretching muscular arms up, Jin Ho glanced at Hoshi again. "Plans for the rest of your night? Or can I beg you to stay with me?"